Avoid Self-Pity: Pre-K SEL Lesson on How to Like Yourself

"The most important in the world to like is yourself," says Mr. Jazzman in this lesson’s story, “Who Likes Us?” The story begins with Mai feeling sorry for herself because she believes nobody likes her. Mr. Jazzman helps her realize that many people do like her, but it is difficult to see when she pities herself. At the end of the story, Mr. Jazzman teaches Mai how to like herself more by avoiding self-pity and telling herself the truth.

This productive SEL lesson is complete with visual aids, a poster, a class discussion, and engaging SEL activities. During the class discussion, pre-kindergartners learn the difference between liking and feeling sorry for themselves. To help them understand this better, they participate in some fun SEL activities.

The first activity helps them identify which practices show liking themselves and which show self-pity. Their understanding is tested with the next activity, which helps them to learn how to flip their self-pity into self-liking. The activities are further discussed, and the students learn how to avoid self-pity with the Thoughts-Actions-Feelings Circle. The students’ memories are refreshed by displaying the "Thoughts-Actions-Feelings Circle" poster. The lesson ends with more practice on thinking positive thoughts, doing positive actions, and feeling positive about themselves.

Self-pity is a feeling gained from fixating on problems and negative outcomes, creating the impression of being a victim of the world. Falling into self-pity can be easy when one fails to stay grounded in reality and take ownership of the situation. For pre-kindergartners, self-pity is expected as they require internal and external validation while still building their self-concept. Moreover, they are only just beginning to learn their role in their thoughts, actions, and feelings about themselves.

With this lesson, pre-kindergartners can learn to avoid feeling sorry for themselves by practicing self-honesty. By teaching them to focus on the truth, they can realize that nothing is working against them. This can provide them with the internal validation they need to build a positive self-concept.